Worked example · Computer Science · Year 7
DCF: Interacting and collaborating → Communication
A complete, secure Year 7 answer, annotated against the success criteria, and the answer key. Step 1 has one best answer for each problem, although a sensible second choice with a good reason should get credit. Steps 3 and 4 show one good plan and email: pupils’ wording will differ, but the facts, the order and the things left out should match. The email in Step 4 is where you can judge how well a pupil plans and organises writing for a purpose and audience.
| Problem | Best way | Why it is best | Why not another way |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1. Printer jammed since yesterday | Help desk email | It is not stopping a lesson right now, and Mr Pugh gets a written record to work from. | Phoning is for urgent problems and only teachers can phone. |
| 2. Forgotten password | Visit the IT office | Mr Pugh needs to see your ID card to check it is really you before he resets it. | You cannot log in to send an email, and someone else could email pretending to be you. |
| 3. Email asking for your password | Report button | It is a phishing email. Reporting it warns the school without spreading it. | Forwarding it to the help desk or friends spreads the dangerous link. |
| 4. Projector fails during a test | Phone, extension 214 (the teacher calls) | It stops the whole class now, so it needs a fast answer. | An email might not be read until tomorrow morning. |
| 5. Program crashes when saving | Help desk email | He can see the exact error message and a screenshot as an attachment. | A visit at lunch gives no screenshot and he may not remember the details. |
| 6. Unkind comments in a group chat | Tell a teacher | It is about feeling safe, not a broken device, and a trusted adult can act straight away. | The IT help desk fixes equipment; it is not the right person to deal with bullying. |
Each choice is matched to how urgent the problem is, whether a record or a screenshot helps, and whether identity needs checking. Every row gives a disadvantage of another way. Evidences criterion 1.
| A good fault report has | Email A (Osian) | Email B (Cerys) |
|---|---|---|
| A subject line that says what is wrong and where | ✗ | ✗ (“Laptop” is too vague) |
| A polite greeting and sign-off | ✗ | ✓ |
| The asset tag of the device | ✗ | ✗ |
| Where and when it happened | ✗ | Half: “Monday” but no room |
| What happened, with the exact error message | ✗ | ✗ |
| What they have already tried | ✗ | ✗ |
| Nothing that should be kept private | ✓ | ✗ (her password) |
(b) Cerys never says what the problem actually was, which laptop it was or where she was, so Mr Pugh does not know what to fix or where to find it. Most of her email repeats that there was “a problem” in one long sentence joined by “and” and “so”. Worst of all, she has sent her password, which nobody should ever ask for. She should change it at once.
The pupil sees that polite is not the same as useful, and spots the safety problem. Evidences criteria 2 and 5.
(a) Leave out “my password is draig123”, because you must never send a password to anyone and Mr Pugh does not need it. Leave out the dragon sticker and “Gethin thinks the Wi-Fi hates me”, because they do not help him fix the fault (the asset tag already identifies the laptop).
(b)
| Part | Plan |
|---|---|
| Subject line | Laptop BG-LT-0457, Room 14: will not connect to Wi-Fi |
| Greeting | Dear Mr Pugh, |
| Paragraph 1 | BG-LT-0457, Room 14 trolley; will not join BG-Pupils; message “Can’t connect to this network”; Monday period 3 and Tuesday period 1 |
| Paragraph 2 | restarted twice; Wi-Fi off and on; other trolley laptops connected fine both times; back in slot 12 with a note |
| Paragraph 3 | had to share, could not finish own work; please check it |
| Sign-off | Thank you, Lowri Hughes, 7W |
| Attachment | screenshot of the error message |
Notes are grouped by job, not in the order Lowri remembered them. Evidences criterion 3.
To: ITHelp Attachment: wifi-error-screenshot.png
Subject: Laptop BG-LT-0457, Room 14: will not connect to Wi-Fi
Dear Mr Pugh,
Laptop BG-LT-0457 from the trolley in Room 14 will not connect to the BG-Pupils Wi-Fi. Each time, it shows the message “Can’t connect to this network”. This happened on Monday in period 3 and again on Tuesday in period 1.
I have restarted the laptop twice and turned the Wi-Fi off and on again, but it still did not connect. Other laptops from the same trolley connected without any problem both times, so I think the fault is with this laptop. I have put it back in slot 12 with a note on it.
Because of this, I had to share a laptop and could not finish my own work. Please could you check it? I have attached a screenshot of the error message.
Thank you,
Lowri Hughes, 7W
Formal greeting and sign-off with full name and form. The subject line tells Mr Pugh what, which and where before he opens it. Three short paragraphs each do one job: the problem, what has been tried, the effect and the request. Connectives such as “but”, “so” and “because of this” link the ideas. 132 words, no text speak, no password. Evidences criteria 4 and 5.
A typical first draft says “it doesn’t work” in paragraph 1. A good partner suggestion is: “Say exactly what doesn’t work: it won’t join the BG-Pupils Wi-Fi.” Another common improvement is moving “other laptops worked fine” up from the end, because it tells Mr Pugh the Wi-Fi itself is working.
Lowri can attach a screenshot, so Mr Pugh sees the exact error message instead of relying on her remembering it. Email also gives him a written record with the asset tag and room, so he can find the laptop later even if he reads it the next morning. The problem is not stopping a whole lesson, so it does not need the fast answer that a phone call gives.
Uses a feature of email (attachment, written record) and compares it with the alternative. Evidences criteria 1 and 5.