Worked example · Music · Year 8
DCF: Citizenship → Identity, image and reputation
Also assessed, LNF: Literacy → Writing → Vocabulary, spelling, grammar
A secure Year 8 response, annotated against the success criteria. Steps 1 and 2 are the DCF evidence. Steps 3, 4, 5 and the bio in Step 6 are the literacy evidence: mark the vocabulary bank, the corrected spellings, the rewritten sentences and the bio. The 10 overshares are in sentences 1, 2, 3 (3 details), 9, 10 (2 details), 12 and the photo. The 10 spellings: guitarist, percussion, instruments, genre, melody, harmony, rhythm, acoustic, rehearsal, performance. Other safe, accurate wordings are fine.
| Sentence | Detail | Risk | Safe version |
|---|---|---|---|
| 12 | Osian’s mobile number | Anyone could call or message a 12-year-old directly. | A contact form or email run by the music teacher. |
| 1 | Home village and directions | A stranger could find where they live. | “from Ceredigion” |
| 2 | Full names | Easy to search for, find on other sites, or use to pretend to be them. | First names only (all agreed). |
| 3 | Ages | Tells strangers they are children; helps someone target them. | Leave out. |
| 3 | School and form, 8R | Tells a stranger where to find them every weekday. | Leave out of the public profile. |
| 3 | Mali’s birthday | Full name plus date of birth is what is used to steal an identity or guess passwords. | Leave out. |
| 9 | Unkind comment naming Dion | Hurts Dion and makes the band look unkind to anyone, including future employers; Dion never agreed to be named. | Leave out. |
| 10 | Rehearsal day, time and street | Tells a stranger exactly where 4 children will be, and when. | Leave out. |
| 10 | Parents work nights | Tells people when the house has no adults in it. | Leave out. |
| Photo | Mali’s house, its name and location; Tomos’s face | Shows where Mali lives; breaks Tomos’s and Mali’s parents’ wishes. | A gig photo with Tomos’s face not shown, or the band logo. |
All 10 details found, and each risk names what a stranger could actually do (find, contact, impersonate). Each safe version still gives the reader what a bio needs. Evidences criteria 1 and 3.
(a) It damages Dion, who is mocked in public by name, and the 4 band members, who look unkind. In 5 years a college or employer searching their names could find it, or a screenshot of it, even if the page has been deleted, because posts can be copied and passed on.
(b) A post becomes part of everyone’s digital footprint, not just the person who posted it, so each person has the right to say no. Tomos said no to his face online and Mali’s parents said no to the house, so this photo must not be used at all.
Explains permanence, screenshots and future readers, and treats consent as belonging to every person shown. Evidences criterion 2.
| Misspelt | Correct | Misspelt | Correct |
|---|---|---|---|
| guitarrist | guitarist | harmoney | harmony |
| percusion | percussion | rythm | rhythm |
| instrumants | instruments | acoustick | acoustic |
| jenre | genre | rehersal | rehearsal |
| melodie | melody | perfomance | performance |
rhythm: Rhythm Helps Your Two Hips Move. rehearsal: you hear the band in a rehearsal. guitarist: guitar + ist, so only one r.
All 10 correct, with 3 different strategies: a saying, a word inside the word, and root plus suffix. Literacy evidence. Evidences criterion 5.
| Genre and style | Instruments | Texture | Tempo | Dynamics |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| folk-rock ballad jig folk | fiddle cajón bodhrán bass guitar | thin thick unison melody and accompaniment | allegro andante accelerando ritardando | forte pianissimo crescendo diminuendo |
| Sentence | Vague | Precise replacement |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | really good band | 4-piece folk-rock band |
| 4 | lots of instruments | 7 instruments: fiddle, acoustic and electric guitar, bass guitar, drum kit, cajón and bodhrán |
| 5 | nice rock stuff | the energy and driving beat of rock |
| 6 | it sounds really nice | the harmony thickens the texture |
| 7 | a good rhythm | a steady, driving rhythm |
| 8 | starts quiet, then a loud bit | begins pianissimo and builds with a crescendo and an accelerando |
| 11 | everyone said we were good | cut the claim; name the gigs: a food festival and a charity twmpath |
Every word is in the right column, and each replacement is precise and matches the fact file. Literacy evidence. Evidences criterion 4.
(5) Their genre is folk-rock: they mix traditional Welsh folk tunes with the energy of rock.
(6) Cadi sings the melody, and in the chorus Mali adds a harmony above it, which thickens the texture.
(7) Tomos plays a driving rhythm on the cajón while Osian plays acoustic guitar.
(8) Their signature tune, Ras y Dyfrgwn, is a fast jig that begins pianissimo with the fiddle alone and builds through a crescendo to a forte finish.
Third person and present tense throughout (they mix, sings, plays), each comma splice fixed with a colon or a connective, and the words from Steps 3 and 4 used correctly. Literacy evidence. Evidences criteria 4, 5 and 6.
Y Dyfrgwn are a 4-piece folk-rock band from Ceredigion. Cadi sings lead vocals and plays the fiddle, Osian plays acoustic and electric guitar, Mali plays bass guitar and sings backing vocals, and Tomos plays drum kit, cajón and bodhrán. They mix traditional Welsh folk tunes with the energy of rock. Their instrumental jig, Ras y Dyfrgwn, begins pianissimo with the fiddle alone; the other instruments join one at a time as the music builds through a crescendo and an accelerando. In the ballad Afon Eithin, a thin texture of voice and acoustic guitar opens out when Mali adds a harmony above the melody in the chorus. Glaw ar y To has a driving beat and ends with all 4 members singing in unison. Y Dyfrgwn have performed at a food festival and a charity twmpath. For bookings, use the contact form run by their music teacher.
Safe: first names only, a county instead of a village, no ages, school, times, numbers or unkind comments, and bookings go through an adult. Precise: 12 vocabulary bank words, all spelt correctly, in the third person and present tense with no comma splices. Evidences criteria 1, 3, 4, 5 and 6.