Worked example: Writing Welsh Rules for Online Comments

What this is

A secure Year 8 response, annotated so you can see which success criterion each part meets. It is also the answer key. Cam 1: fine 1, 2, 5, 7, 10; nasty or unsafe 3, 4, 6; another problem 8, 9. English translations are given in italics.

Cam 1: caredig neu gas?

Caredig neu iawn	Cas neu beryglus	Problem arall
1, 2, 5, 7, 10	3, 4, 6	8 (spam link, probably from a hacked account), 9 (shouting in capitals)

“Haha, cytuno!” looks small, but it tells the anonymous writer that others agree, and tells Lili that people she knows are on their side. Agreeing with a nasty comment makes it stronger.

Sees that a bystander’s reaction is part of the behaviour. Evidences criterion 1.

Cam 2: beth aeth o’i le?

(a) Some people feel they will not be caught or held responsible when their name is hidden, so they say things they would never say to someone’s face. Lili felt hurt and exposed: comment 5, “I can read this, you know ...”, shows she saw everything and wanted people to realise it.

(b) Anyone in the world can read public comments. Giving Lili’s address tells strangers where she lives, which could put her in real danger. A joke does not make it safe, and it cannot be taken back once people have seen or copied it.

(c) Someone has probably got into his account, perhaps by guessing or stealing his password. He should change his password straight away, turn on two-step verification, delete the comment and tell an adult.

(d) Online: report comments 3 and 6 to the Welsh Club so they can be removed, and post something kind to Lili. Offline: check that Lili is OK, and tell a teacher about comment 6 straight away.

Explains why anonymity and personal information make online behaviour riskier, and gives practical steps in and out of the comments. Evidences criteria 1 and 2.

Cam 3: cysylltu brawddegau

(a) Mae Lili yn drist achos mae’r sylw yn gas.

(b) Mae’r ddolen yn rhyfedd, felly paid â chlicio arni hi.

(c) Mae’r fideo yn hir, ond mae’r unawd yn wych.

(d) Os wyt ti’n gweld sylw cas, dweda wrth oedolyn.

In (d) the pupil changed rwyt ti to wyt ti after os and put a comma after the os clause. Evidences criterion 3.

Cam 4: rheolau’r sylwadau

Paid â rhannu cyfeiriad unrhyw un, achos mae’n beryglus.
Don’t share anyone’s address, because it is dangerous.
Paid â chlicio ar ddolenni rhyfedd, achos maen nhw’n gallu bod yn sbam.
Don’t click on strange links, because they can be spam.
Paid ag ysgrifennu mewn llythrennau mawr, achos mae’n edrych fel gweiddi.
Don’t write in capital letters, because it looks like shouting.
Rhaid i ni fod yn garedig, ond rydyn ni’n gallu rhoi ein barn.
We must be kind, but we can give our opinion.
Dylen ni ysgrifennu sylwadau caredig, felly bydd pawb yn hapus i rannu fideos.
We should write kind comments, so everyone will be happy to share videos.
Os wyt ti’n gweld sylw cas, dweda wrth oedolyn.
If you see a nasty comment, tell an adult.

All three patterns are used (Paid â / Paid ag, Rhaid i ni, Dylen ni) plus an Os rule. Every rule has a connective (achos 3 times, ond, felly, os). Mutations are correct: Paid â chlicio, ar ddolenni, mae’n beryglus, fod yn garedig, i rannu, and Paid ag before the vowel in ysgrifennu. Each rule matches a problem in the comments. Evidences criteria 3, 4 and 5.

Cam 5: gwirio

Connectives used: 6 · Patterns used: 4 (Paid â, Rhaid i ni, Dylen ni, Os) · Rules without a reason: 0

Os wyt ti’n gorffen yn gynnar: atebion

Lili, roedd dy unawd di yn hyfryd! Lili, your solo was lovely!

Mae’r fideo yn dda, ond mae braidd yn hir. The video is good, but it is a bit long.

Why this response is secure

It spots nasty and anonymous comments, agreeing along, personal information, spam and shouting.
It suggests bystander actions online and offline, including reporting and telling a trusted adult.
Its Welsh sentences are joined with the right connective and the right word order.
It uses each rule pattern accurately, with correct mutations.
Every rule has a reason.