Presentation: Improving a Draft Slideshow about Circuits

Slide 1 of 7 · Settling starter · Computing · Year 6

5 minutes

Improving a Draft Slideshow about Circuits

Nia and Tomos in Year 6 at Ysgol Llan Tywi made a slideshow to teach Year 4 about circuits. It is only a first draft. Today you check it and help them improve it.

While the register is called: write your name, class and date on your worksheet, then look at the 4 slides on the stimulus sheet.

Starter question: On slide 1, what is wrong with the word ELECTRISITY, and why is the writing hard to read?

DCF: Producing → Evaluating and improving digital content No computers needed · work on your sheet

Slide 2 of 7 · Today’s brief and key words · Computing · Year 6

5 minutes

Your brief: judge the draft, fix the mistakes, give feedback

You will judge 4 slides against 5 success criteria, fix 3 science mistakes, proofread slide 2, improve the layout, redesign slide 4 and write kind feedback to Nia and Tomos.

Success criteria

The 5 rules a good slideshow must meet: correct science, easy to read, correct spelling, helpful pictures, not too many words.

Proofread

Read text carefully to correct capital letters, full stops, commas, apostrophes and spelling.

Layout

How a slide looks: size, colour, font, pictures and the amount of text.

LNF: Literacy → Writing → Proofreading, editing and improving Audience: Year 4 pupils just starting circuits

Slide 3 of 7 · Steps 1 and 2: judge the slides and fix the science · Computing · Year 6

15 minutes

Step 1: tick or cross each slide. Step 2: fix the 3 science mistakes

Step 1: for each slide, put a tick if it meets the criterion or a cross if it does not, then say which slide needs the most work. Step 2: find the 3 science mistakes and write a correct sentence for Year 4.

Slide	The mistake	Correct sentence
2	The picture says “a complete circuit” but has a gap in the wire.	Close the gap in the drawing: in a complete circuit the wires make an unbroken loop.

Steps 1 and 2 on your worksheet · 15 minutes Look at slides 3 and 4 for the other 2 mistakes

Supply teacher script (no subject knowledge needed)

Say aloud: “Spend about 7 minutes on Step 1. Go down the 5 criteria for each of the 4 slides and put a tick or a cross. Then answer: which slide needs the most work, and why? Then Step 2: there are 3 science mistakes in the slideshow. The first row on the board shows one. Find the other 2 on slides 3 and 4 and write a correct sentence for Year 4.”

Quick check, Step 1: Slide 3 needs the most work: it has 2 wrong facts, too many words, 4 fonts that make it hard to read, and no picture. Some ticks may reasonably differ (slide 1 has no science to be wrong); accept them if a reason is given.

Quick check, Step 2: Slide 3 says plastic and wood are conductors; correct: plastic and wood are insulators, so they do not let electricity pass through, which is why wires are covered in plastic. Slide 4 says “When the switch is open the bulb is on”; correct: when the switch is open there is a gap in the circuit, so the bulb is off.

Slide 4 of 7 · Step 3: proofread slide 2 · Computing · Year 6

12 minutes

Step 3: proofread slide 2 and explain your changes

Write the slide 2 text out again as 3 sentences with correct capital letters, full stops, commas, apostrophes and spelling. Then explain 4 of your changes: where and why.

Draft: you need a cell a bulb and two wires. the circuit has to be a complete loop if their is a gap the electricity cant flow and the bulb wont light

One change explained: “you” to “You”, because every sentence starts with a capital letter.

(c) Find the 3 misspelled words on slides 1, 3 and 4 and write each one correctly.

Step 3 on your worksheet · 12 minutes This is your literacy evidence, take care

Supply teacher script (no subject knowledge needed)

Say aloud: “You have 12 minutes for Step 3. First rewrite the slide 2 text correctly as 3 sentences. Then fill in the table: what you changed and why, for 4 changes. The board shows one example. Finally, find the 3 misspelled words on slides 1, 3 and 4.”

Quick check (a): You need a cell, a bulb and two wires. The circuit has to be a complete loop. If there is a gap, the electricity can’t flow and the bulb won’t light.

Quick check (b): comma after “cell” (commas separate items in a list); full stop after “loop” (two sentences were running together); “their” to “there” (“their” means belonging to them); “cant” to “can’t” and “wont” to “won’t” (an apostrophe shows missing letters).

Quick check (c): ELECTRISITY → ELECTRICITY (slide 1); becuase → because (slide 3); circut → circuit (slide 4). A strong answer also fixes “thats” and “its” on slide 3.

Slide 5 of 7 · Steps 4 and 5: layout and redesign · Computing · Year 6

16 minutes

Step 4: improve the layout. Step 5: redesign slide 4

Step 4: for slides 1, 3 and 4 suggest one layout change (size, colour, font, pictures, amount of text) with a reason that thinks about Year 4. Step 5: draw your improved slide 4 in the frame.

Slide 1 change: Make the title large and dark on a light background. Remove the stars.

Reason: Year 4 pupils at the back of the class must be able to read it; pale yellow on white is almost invisible.

Slide 4 redesign must have: a title, no more than 2 short correct sentences, and a picture that helps explain how a switch works.

Steps 4 and 5 on your worksheet · 16 minutes About 7 minutes on Step 4, then draw

Supply teacher script (no subject knowledge needed)

Say aloud: “Spend about 7 minutes on Step 4. The board shows the slide 1 row; do the same for slides 3 and 4. Then use the rest of the time to draw your new slide 4 in the frame: a title, 2 short correct sentences at most, and a picture that explains a switch. Colouring pencils are fine.”

Quick check, Step 4: Slide 3: use one clear font and colour, cut the last long sentence, add a picture sorting materials into 2 groups (many fonts look messy and slow readers down). Slide 4: swap the cat for a circuit diagram with a switch (the cat is cute but does not explain anything).

Walk the room, Step 5: Look for a large title, 2 short sentences such as “A switch turns a circuit on and off” and “When the switch is open, there is a gap, so the bulb is off”, and a drawing of a circuit with an open switch making a gap.

Slide 6 of 7 · Step 6: feedback and self check · Computing · Year 6

5 minutes

Step 6: write kind feedback, then check your work

Write a kind and helpful comment to Nia and Tomos: 2 things they did well and 1 thing to improve. Link each point to a success criterion. Then tick what you can prove.

I can judge digital work against success criteria.
I can correct science facts so they are accurate.
I can proofread and correct punctuation and spelling, and explain where and why I made each change.
I can give kind, specific feedback linked to success criteria.

Step 6 on your worksheet · 5 minutes If you finish early, plan slide 5: Why do some bulbs glow brighter?

Slide 7 of 7 · Plenary review · Computing · Year 6

2 minutes

Swap feedback, then check the answers

Swap worksheets and read your partner’s feedback to Nia and Tomos. Then check these answers before your sheets are collected.

Question	Correct answer
Are plastic and wood conductors?	No. They are insulators, so they do not let electricity pass through.
When the switch is open, is the bulb on or off?	Off. An open switch makes a gap in the circuit.
What are the 3 misspelled words on slides 1, 3 and 4?	Electricity, because, circuit.

Check your name and class are on your worksheet Leave stimulus sheets neat on the desk